Make your way
I'm tired, and I'm worn, but I'm here and I'm ready for more. Going through life I've learned that nothing of yesterday matters at this point. Once I understood that yesterday is just information for me to work with today I've been able to get more done. Hannibal said "Are you going to find a way or are you going to make one?" Maybe it took 45 years for me to get it, but I'm there. I spent years waiting for permission from someone to let me do what only I knew about. It was never going to happen because it was all in me.
The real question becomes WHY? Why did I feel I needed that permission? Was it fear of failure? Was it a history of making mistakes and wanting someone to take the blame if I failed again? I've learned to own my mistakes. I've learned that no matter how messed up things can get I'm still here. I've made mistakes and I'll make many more. Looking out at the success stories out there you think "They're lucky" or "They're that much better than me". I've learned that's just not the case. Yes, luck plays a part in life events, but it's just a probability of failure. You have some chances getting into your car that you don't end up in an accident yet that doesn't stop you there.
Take this instance. A car accident. Every time you drive your car you run the risk of hitting something/someone or someone/something hitting you. There's a risk of you making a mistake that you can't come back from. Even a chance that you do nothing wrong and still be involved. When you are involved there's monetary issues you'll need to deal with when it comes to repairs, injuries, etc. There's even the ultimate price of death. A car accident has the ability to destroy your life as it is. Yet with that risk we still get in the car and drive off everyday.
So why is it that when we have this idea, this ultimate chance to become what you've always wanted, to make the world aware of your idea and pursue it to the ends to make it a reality, do we suddenly freeze and stick to something we're not happy with? Influence!
There's alot of ney sayers out there. It's quite easy to knock someone down. It's why they say that people tend do better once they hit rock bottom. You're knocked down completely. That fear is no longer something that holds value. Listen to the people around you but also learn to realize the value of what is being said. For years I got told "you shouldn't do XXX because of XXX". I listened and moved on only to remain with the same thoughts. These statements were coming from people I trusted. I later realized that these individuals weren't knocking down my ideas out of knowledge or malicious intent but out of ignorance. That may sound like a harsh statement, but it's reality. There will be people you have around you who may be well versed in what you're trying to do but you'll also be more aware of that. For those other individuals, quite often they can't understand your idea simply because they are not you, not in your head, not part of the community you wish to get into, or simply don't know anything about it. Letting those individuals guide you will maintain that fear of execution.
The truth is there are a thousand reasons why you shouldn't do what or be who you want. You have to remember that fear will remain part of your way ahead. It'll keep you sharp and it'll provide you with the opposite of all the positives. It'll make you think about what you're doing and make you better. You can't, however, let it take the wheel. Fear and positivity both have detriments and benefits. Use them as a tightrope walker would. The balance bar goes up and down. To far up and you fall, to far down and you fall. But that balance bar doesn't prevent you from walking forward it just helps keep you on the path.
If you stop making excuses, stop giving in to the excuses, no matter how valid they are, you will be able to make that path real. To carve that rock in the shape you want. Don't concentrate on what could have been in the past. Let it go, it's information for going forward. Don't concentrate on blame for why something didn't go as you wished. Own it, learn from it, and move forward.
Don't let that weak voice in your mind dictate anything. Tell it to "Fuck off!" and move on. Once you get where you want to be, even if it turns out to be yet another failure, you'll find that new and better path.
"Don't ask what the world needs, ask yourself, what makes you come alive. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman